When people talk about having sex, they usually mean sexual intercourse, which is penetration of the vagina by the penis. You're a virgin if you haven't had sexual intercourse. You're not a virgin if you've had sexual intercourse.

All my friends are having sex...
Don't assume that "everybody's doing it." Your friends might say they're having sex, but they may just be bragging to sound cool or to be popular. They may be stretching the truth, or they may be making stuff up from what they've seen in magazines, on TV or on the Internet.

Don't give in to peer pressure about sex. Nobody can tell you what to do with your body or when to do it. Having sex to fit in won't make you feel cool or grown up. And you can get a reputation for being "fast" or "easy," which may make you feel uncomfortable. Whether you have sex or not is private. You don't have to share that kind of information with friends if you don't want to.

What are the risks of having sex?
Some of the health risks include pregnancy and catching one or more STDs (sexually transmitted diseases like herpes, chlamydia, genital warts, gonorrhea, syphilis and AIDS). Having sex before you develop physically can also hurt. Girls who start having sex before age 18 tend to have more health problems, including a higher risk of cervical cancer.

Sex also has some emotional risks. If you have sex when you're not ready or because someone is pressuring you, you may feel bad about yourself or wonder if your partner really cares about you. You may have to deal with consequences you hadn't thought of, such as pregnancy or an STD.

What is abstinence?

A downward trend
Recent statistics suggest that more teens may be choosing not to have sex. In 1995, 53% of high school students reported having had sex at least once. In 1999, the number dropped to 50%.


Abstinence means choosing not to have sex, and it isn't an outdated idea. It's an important option to think about. A lot of young people like you make the choice to wait. Some people abstain because of religious or spiritual beliefs or because of personal values. Others abstain to avoid pregnancy or STDs, or just because they aren't ready to have sex. If you abstain, that's great. You should feel good about your choice. And if you have a friend or partner who abstains, give him or her your support.

I had sex, but now I wish I hadn't.
Maybe you made a decision you regret, and now you know you weren't ready to have sex. You've learned something about your feelings. Now you can make better choices in the future, which may include deciding not to have sex again until you're older. You might want to talk about your feelings with someone you trust.

How will I know if I'm ready to have sex?
Figuring out when you're ready can be hard. Your body may give you signals that seem to say you're ready. That's natural. But your body isn't the only thing you should listen to. Your beliefs, values and emotions play a bigger role in when you choose to have sex.

One sure sign that you're not ready is if you feel pressured or if you feel really nervous and unsure. Take a step back. Try to figure out what you really want. Talk to someone you can trust, like your parents, a counselor, a teacher, a minister or your family doctor.

"You'd do it if you loved me."
Don't let anyone use this line to push you into having sex. Even if you really like the person, don't fall for it. Having sex to keep a partner usually doesn't work. Even if it does, you might not feel good about your decision. If someone wants to break up with you because you won't have sex, then that person wasn't worth your time in the first place.

Don't use this line on someone else, or you risk losing the person and feeling bad about yourself. Respect your partner's feelings and beliefs.

What if I decide to have sex?
If you're going to have sex, or if you're already having sex, you should be as safe as possible. (Remember, though, the "safest" sex is no sex.) To protect yourself and your partner, use a latex condom. Condoms offer the most protection against STDs. Using a spermicide with condoms can offer better protection against pregnancy, but may not be right for everyone. For example, spermicides containing nonoxynol-9 can cause genital irritation and increase your risk of catching an STD. Remember that condoms won't work if you don't use them correctly every time. Read the packages to figure out how to use them, or go to your family doctor or a health clinic so someone can help you figure it out.

Do I need to think about anything before I have sex?

Unless you are married, there are things that you should consider before having sex.

Are you ready to be a parent?

Is this the person that you will be with forever?
Does this person love you for who you are or do they just want to have sex with you?
How will having sex now affect your relationship with your future husband or wife?
Do you know about this person's past sexual experiences such as whether or not they got tested for sexually transmitted diseases?
When is the right time to have sex?

Many people choose to have sex but often times, they don't think about why they want to have sex or what they need to consider before they have sex. We've heard people tell us, It just happened but if it just happened, you probably didn't think about it. By not thinking about what sex is before you do it, it can cause you problems or get you into some trouble you are not prepared for.

If you are considering to have sex, you need to consider these 3 Rs:

Right thing: Have you thought about what you will do before you do it? Meaning have you thought about the pros and cons to what you are about to do?

Right time: Is the timing right? Are you ready for this (meaning you are ready for what will happen before, during and after)?

Right person: Is this person the one that you want to be with forever? Are you respecting the other person by choosing what you are doing? Can this affect your relationship with your future husband or wife?

Many people think that marriage is the best time to have sex because it is the one and only time that is right thing at the right time with the right person.

The best thing to improve sex is to bring in sex toys from a sex toy store

Are there any consequences to having sex?

Unless you're married, there are consequences that you need to bear in mind. If you’re not married and choose to have a sexual relationship, you need to consider the following:

Dating and sex?

Dating can be a complicating and difficult time but can also be rewarding when you find that special partner that completes your life. If looking for a free dating site we suggest you try "free dating"

An unplanned pregnancy
Catching a Sexually Transmitted Disease (STD)
A broken heart if your girlfriend or boyfriend leaves you
Premarital sex makes it more difficult for you to leave an unhealthy relationship
Premarital sex will cause a person to compare you with past sexual partners
Fined or sent to jail for having sex with someone under 16 years old
Are there any benefits to having sex?

If you are married, YES, there are lots of benefits. The tendency is that people who are married worry less about an unplanned pregnancy or catching a sexually transmitted disease since they are in a committed relationship forever. Some of the benefits are:

Being pregnant and starting a family, intimacy, pPleasing each other and finding pleasure in one another.